Don't Look Back
by Jaders2007
Summary: When the two loneliest people are forced to come together they will go through pain, loss, tears, and most importantly love. In turn, they both learn that You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel. They learn that you Don't Look Back at the past because it may take away everything you have.
1. Chapter One: The Two Loneliest People

**Hello everyone, welcome to my story Don't Look Back, I hope you enjoy it. Please Read and Review! Just for reference most everyone dead is back. There will also be some language in this fic, but it won't be too graphic. I will warn ahead of time if it is slightly graphic. I also believe this might be an eventual marriage law story but i'm not totally sure yet.**

**Summary: When the two loneliest people are forced to come together they will go through battles of pain, loss, tears, and most importantly love. In turn, they both learn that You can close your eyes to the things you do not want to see, but you cannot close your heart to the things you do not want to feel. Through the hurt they learn to love, and they learn that you Don't Look Back at the past because it may take away everything you have.**

**Chapter One: The Two Loneliest People**

Hermione Granger sat on the floor of the Gryffindor common room and looked through one of her school books. She had long finished it, but there wasn't much else to do. She was the only one of her friends-of the golden trio- to come back to Hogwarts. In all honesty she barely talked to either of the boys. Hogwarts just wasn't the same without them, and ever since her parents had been killed by Death Eaters no less, she had felt like the loneliest person in the world. Hell, she probably was the loneliest person in the world.

Severus Snape laid on the couch in his quarters. His bottle of firewhiskey next to the couch was empty much to Snape's despair. He thought about all the dunderheads he was teaching this year. Not many students came to mind when he thought of the term…promising. Not many…except for one. Hermione Granger. He rolled his eyes. The know-it-all had been working with Madam Pomfrey to obtain her mediwitch license. He was sure she'd excel at that too. After all, there weren't many things the know-it-all didn't do well. He thought about her in her first year, the bushy hair, wild and untamed, the buck teeth, the incessant need to prove herself. Now she had grown into an intelligent woman…definitely a woman. She still had the insufferable desire to prove herself, but the frizzy mass on her hair was no longer that. It now fell in loose curls, and her face had finally grown into her teeth…if that made any sense. She was a brilliant mind. The only one here who he could keep a conversation with, not that he wanted to converse regularly with Granger. He didn't want to converse with anyone period. Even though he pushed every person away, he sometimes felt like the loneliest person in the world.

It was Friday; there were usually Hogsmead trips on Fridays. However this week Hermione would not be going. Instead she wandered down to the library with a book she'd been trying to read for a week. However her mind drifted every time she sat down to read it. Especially this Friday night, when Hermione opened the door to the library and slipped in, when Madam Pince rolled her eyes and huffed, and she took a table in the back. She opened the book but just like any other time, her mind started wandering. She started thinking about the boys. Harry, god knew what he was doing. Last she'd heard from him he was starting his Auror training. Ron…Ronald Weasley…ugh, she hated even thinking about him. After the final battle, she and Ron decided to pursue a relationship. Not two weeks later she found him in bed with Lavender. Hermione was determined that it was her lack of "giving it up." It didn't feel right with Ron. Nothing felt right with Ron. She was sure as hell against giving it up in a tiny bedroom on a twin bed with his parents in the house. Aparently he needed someone who would have no self-respect. Hermione didn't feel bad about not giving it up by age seventeen. She respected herself more than that. Her mind started to drift to this year. She was earning her Mediwitch license, she was taking advanced charms, transfigurations, and potions, and most importantly, even though she was away from the boys, and even though she felt like the loneliest person in the world, she still felt like she was being challenged.

Severus tried to get some sleep that night, but all he could do was sit and think of Granger. Ever since her parents died she'd grown into quite a woman. The girl was a spitfire that much was for certain. He could tell in her eyes that she blamed herself even though she'd been told a million times how it wasn't her fault. Those stupid eyes…he remembered how incredibly empty they were after her torture. After Bellatrix decided it was beneficial to carve into her skin and crucio her for hours. Once she was left alone he wanted to come out of the darkness he had been hiding in and hold her. The girl was broken. She still was. He'd never seen such emptiness in someone's eyes not even his own. They were so empty it was almost like nothing was ever there. Severus knew better though. Granger was a fighter, a beautiful fighter. He mentally kicked himself. Hermione Granger was his student not his secret crush. She was brilliant yes, but he would not let himself get attached to the girl, even if she was the brightest witch of her age. Good god…he was getting soft…above all…over the know-it-all.

Hermione was pulled out of her thoughts as Madam Pince cleared her throat for what was more that likely the third time. She rolled her eyes and walked back to her common room. She went straight to the girl's dormitory and snuggled into her bed. However sleep didn't come easy. Not like it ever had before. Not since her parents died, not since the fall of Voldemort, not since any of it had she been able to sleep through the night. She climbed out of bed and over to the mirror by her bed. She was able to see her reflection easily by the light the moon was illuminating. She lifted the sleeve of her pale blue shirt to reveal the word "mudblood" she knew on the inside of her thighs and belly were the unforgivable words. The hateful words that refused to heal without leaving their marks. They now left a red…slightly purple scar. Every letter was carved into her skin. She cringed at the memory. This was part of the reason she hadn't slept with Ron, besides the fact that she had more respect for herself. What would he say when he saw those words? She wasn't sure. She didn't want to think about him, or anything for that matter. She pulled her shirt down and padded back to her bed. She had hoped she'd find sleep tonight, peaceful sleep. She wouldn't get her hopes up too high because she knew that would never happen.

As she laid in bed she thought of how she became to be this Hermione Granger. She loved herself…most of herself that is. She hated the scars. She didn't want to think about it tonight anymore. She thought of her school work and how happy she'd been when Dumbledore told her she'd have a job waiting for her when she passed her licensing exam, which they all no doubt knew she would. She thought of her classes- one in particular- potions. This year had been so different from the others. Snape was no longer incredibly hateful as he had been the years before. She wouldn't exactly call him…warm…but he wasn't the same man as he was a year ago. A war could change a person like that…look at her. Professor Snape still deducted house points but not for ridiculously stupid things. Also, he seemed to hardly ever be in a "bad" mood. The man wasn't exactly jolly, but it was a slight improvement from the years before. Hermione wondered if he ever longed to be with someone… someone who knew the same pain. Hermione knew that she definitely felt this way. Sometimes it hurt to know that she would forever be branded with the war. However, Snape was branded from two wars. He also lost the love of his life. When he was almost killed by Nagini and was in Saint Mungos, Harry had shown her the memories Snape gave to him. Harry had now realized that Snape really wasn't the enemy. He never was. Hell, the man practically gave his life to save them year after year…what a tiring job that must have been! She wondered for a few minutes how she'd let her mind shift to Professor Snape. He'd always been there for them. Always. He protected them from Lupin…Quirrel…too many people to count. Hermione had the sudden thought to go down and tell the man thank you. Of course that would be crazy. Maybe another time of course…she wondered why her mind still thought of Snape. For the past few weeks she found herself thinking of him more and more. Why not…he was indirectly everyone's hero? They wouldn't have won the war without him. She closed her eyes and then after a sudden realization her eyes slammed back open. He was _her_ hero.

**I hope you enjoyed, please read and review! I'd like to see what everyone thinks of this story so far! More to come soon!**


	2. Chapter Two: Black

**Hey guys, here is chapter two! I hope you enjoy and please review. I need some feedback on how this is going so far. I am definitely continuing it, but what do you think so far? Sorry this is late, I went on a mini vacation and didn't take my laptop to finish or post it.**

**Chapter Two: Black**

Hermione walked into her family's home. It was just the same as it'd always been the same pictures on the fireplace mantle, the same throw draped across the back of the couch. Her mom and dad were sitting on that couch. Hermione's eyebrows furrowed. Her parents were dead… All of a sudden Hermione was shoved and fell to the floor. Her mother was grabbed by her hair…drug into the kitchen. Her father was yelling and then a quick shout of two unmentionable words and silence filled the house. Time then sped up. Hermione walked around the house. Her father was still lying on the living room floor. In the kitchen Mrs. Granger laid on the floor, she had been beaten and raped. Hermione looked away; she'd give anything to go back…to lock the door. Or maybe had she not been running around the country with two boys who barely talked to her now, maybe she could have protected them. She turned around to walk to the door and was face to face with a masked death eater. A few seconds later he spoke those two unmentionable words.

Hermione woke with a start. She was covered in sweat and pushed the blankets off of her. She padded out of bed to her slippers and walked out of her dormitory and out of the common room. She glanced at the clock as she walked out…it read 3:27. Hermione rolled her eyes and began walking down the moving staircase. She rolled her eyes as she finally reached the bottom floor. Sometimes it was a maze to get from one floor to another. Hermione didn't really know where she was going, but she soon found herself sitting in the hallway of the dungeons. The cool air felt like needle pricks to her hot skin. She almost shivered at the feeling. As soon as she started to doze off she heard an unmistakable voice.

"Miss Granger, what in Merlin's beard are you doing down in the dungeons at this time of night, falling asleep no less?" The dark man asked her.

Hermione lifted her head. Snape had seen this look in his own eyes, a look of desperation. The girl probably hadn't slept in months; she honestly had good reason not to.

Hermione simply laid her head back down on her knees. She didn't want to deal with Snape right now. She just wanted to sleep through the night. Her eyes burned every time she blinked. When she closed her eyes all she could see was the death of her family, and she wanted to vomit. Every time she fell asleep the nightmares would start, whether it was about death or being tortured by Bellatrix. When she had the dreams about Bellatrix her scars burned. She wasn't sure if it was the curse or weather it was just her self-conscience.

Snape stared at the girl, she needed sleep.

"Granger…come on," Snape said in a slightly gentle voice.

It took all of the strength Hermione had to pick herself off the floor. Snape considered helping her but he just held the door to his classroom open and waited for her to get up. Once inside he began digging in his storeroom and found the vial he needed. He then walked with Granger up to her common room. As they reached the Fat Lady, Hermione turned around to stare at her professor, his obsidian eyes staring into her toffee ones.

"Miss Granger, I trust you know how to take a dreamless sleep potion responsibly?"

Hermione opened her mouth to respond but her body hurt and she couldn't find her voice. Instead she just nodded at the dark man as he thrust the vial into her hand and quickly pulled his hand away from hers like she had some disease. Snape decided to take his leave and vanished down the hallway. Hermione walked into the common room and drug herself to bed. She then took a half of the vial and tried to sleep.

The next day Snape looked around the Great Hall at breakfast. Granger was nowhere to be found. He actually thought it was a bad idea giving it to her so early in the morning when she had to be up in a few hours. Hopefully she'd make it to her classes today and then she'd have the whole weekend to take care of her sleeping problem.

"Severus, is something bothering you?" Albus Dumbledore asked him.

"No Albus, but I may need to request time off for a student," Severus didn't know why he cared so much.

Albus nodded as if he understood and Severus got up and went to his classroom to get ready for the dunderheads.

Hermione had been up for hours. She'd basically fought the dreamless sleep and was so tired. She'd taken very little. Almost ¼ of the small vial he'd given her. She looked in the mirror by her bed. She didn't look like Hermione Granger. She looked…dead. Her eyes had no shine, she had no desire to learn, and her hair, the one thing she'd always loved about herself (Not including first year) was her hair. It was so dull and boring now. She wondered if it was possible to find someone to just breathe life into her. The real reason why she hadn't went to breakfast was because she didn't want to see the pity in anyone's eyes. Let alone _his_. Last night he seemed somewhat gentle, but she saw it. It was there too…the pity. Hermione walked down the staircase and got down to the dungeons. She then prepared herself for the pair of dark obsidian eyes that she wanted nothing more than to look into for eternity.

Snape watched as she walked in. He was slightly surprised she'd made it to class. She didn't look much better than last night and one could possibly say she may have looked a little worse.

Hermione had walked to her station and gotten her tools and ingredients. She had opened her book to the required page and began to brew. About twenty-five minutes into the lesson the whole class turned toward Neville Longbottom's cauldron. They'd all heard that familiar whistling sound. She heard Snape say something about shield charms and then…her whole world went black…

**Sorry about the lateness and the cliffhanger. Do tell me what you think! More to come soon!**


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